This Darkness Mine

This Darkness Mine
By Mindy McGinnis

Sasha Stone knows her place—first-chair clarinet, top of her class, and at the side of her oxford-wearing boyfriend. She’s worked her entire life to ensure that her path to Oberlin Conservatory as a star musician is perfectly paved.

But suddenly there’s a fork in the road, in the shape of Isaac Harver. Her body shifts toward him when he walks by, her skin misses his touch even though she’s never known it, and she relishes the smell of him—smoke, beer, and trouble—all the things she’s avoided to get where she is. Even worse, every time he’s near Sasha, her heart stops, literally. Why does he know her so well—too well—and she doesn’t know him at all?

Sasha discovers that her by-the-book life began by ending another’s: the twin sister she absorbed in the womb. But that doesn’t explain the gaps of missing time in her practice schedule or the memories she has of things she certainly never did with Isaac. As Sasha loses her much-cherished control, her life—and heart—become more entangled with Isaac. Armed with the knowledge that her heart might not be hers alone, Sasha must decide what she’s willing to do—and who she’s willing to hurt—to take it back.

3/5 Stars? 4/5 Stars?

Ok so this book is weird. Very weird... Like one of the weirdest, darkest books that I have ever read. I honestly can't tell if I liked it or not. This is definitely not what I was expecting when I decided to order this book. Yes, I though it would be weird, but nothing close to this level of weird. Just by the way, I really hated the main character, so if that isn't something you can get past, I don't think this book is for you because Sasha is really unlikable REALLY unlikable. Also, if you are not a fan of really strange and quite disturbing books, I don't think this is for you. The summary makes this book sound like it focuses on Sasha and Isaac and it kinda does, but then it goes down this really disturbing storyline that I think I enjoyed, but I honestly still don't really know.


So I guess we can start off with Sasha. I hated her. Even in the beginning when she seemed pretty normal EVERY SINGLE PAGE she would take about how perfect she was. Then later on, she went a little insane there. Or I guess she was insane from the beginning. But by then end... I mean I guess  will talk about the end later....When I first read this, the story felt a little all over the place. First Sasha was a pretty normal girl, then she was vomiting into another girls mouth so that her friend can get a heart transplant and I was just like ummmmmmm I feel like this is a completely different book. As I thought about it more though, I realized how well the author included little hints about who Sasha really was. How when she found out about her dad's affair, instead of telling her mother, she used it to her own advantage and other little things like that. When reading it, the book feels a little sporadic and unorganized, but by the end you can start to see how everything fits together.

Lets be honest, every single character was pretty horrible. Heath for example, who starts dating their girlfriends best friend while their girlfriend is in the hospital and can possibly die??? Same goes for Lilly there. Isaac is pretty terrible too, not as bad as some of the others but still. Sasha was clearly going a little crazy, she was also falling behind in school when it is basically the most important thing to her, and she tells him over and over that she basically doesn't care about him at all and it is just her sister, and he still keeps coming back. 

Speaking of the sister thing... I think the one thing that this book that could have made it even better and even more disturbing and weird is if the twin thing felt a little more believable. Throughout the entire thing, I just kept getting annoyed with Sasha because she just kept blaming everything on her twin that she absorbed in the womb. She finds out that she absorbed her twin in the womb and she is like OBVIOUSLY my twin is living inside me in my heart and has fallen in love with this guy from my school. Where is the logic there??? I feel like that isn't the first conclusion I would jump to. I honestly would probably think I am insane before that. Then she just starts telling everyone this crazy sounding theory as if it explains everything that she does and gets mad when people don't believe her. The entire time I thought that she was just going to be crazy in the end and I mean, she kinda was, but it would have been better if I believed it along with her. You know??

Ok so the ending... Ummm so she is still convinced that her sister Shauna lives in her heart and she wants to give her sister to Issac so she takes a knife, rips out her heart, and hands it to him. Oh yeah then also plants the knife on him so that he goes to jail for a while. What was the point of that? Not even the whole cutting out her heart thing ), but the sending him to jail part. Why? She said something about scaring him... But again, why?? Then also at the very end, she has tracked down the boyfriend of the girl whose heart she has gotten.... Because thats not really weird.... I am still not sure if in the end her twin was actually living in her heart or if she was just crazy. I am assuming crazy, but I am still not sure. See, but even if she did have her sister's heart, that does not mean that her sister could fall in love with someone separate from her, or have her own thoughts, because hearts do not do that. Brains do that.... Also, if her sister could take control of Sasha's body without her knowing it, why hadn't she done that in the past? I am a little confused here, but I guess thats all part of it, the confusion and the not knowing. Or I am just missing something....

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